First time alone with The Twins

Oh man. I have seen the other side. And it isn’t pretty.

The Wife just went to the store, and she left me with The Twins.


Fifteen minutes in, they woke up.

Scream! Poo. Scream! Pee. Scream! Hungry. Scream! No reason. Scream! Where’s Mommy!!! Scream! Scream!! Scream!!!

I was just pinning it, wrangling bottles, diapers, diaper liners, undershirts — who knew poo could get on EVERYTHING? — babies screaming phone ringing babies screaming my heart racing wipes diapers blankets pacifiers …

The Wife came home to a disaster. Stuff strewn everywhere, diapers improperly installed, babies ready to nurse, daddy ready to hurl.

But everyone was OK.

We made it.

And here’s The Wife’s perspective …

The cupboards were bare…the frig so empty it was freezing…someone had to DO something major…I HAD to go to the store…myself…me…
I NEEDED to go to the store…
It was a job for someone who actually COOKS.
And I was up for the challenge.
I had been in this house for months. Cabin fever much?!?
So I fed the babies.
They fell asleep…soundly.
Lee settled in to watch them…sleep.
I ran to the car, raced down the hill and drifted (a la Fast and the Furious…Tokyo-style) into the market’s parking lot.
I had only an hour…I swear somewhere there was a bugle playing…
Little did I know (cuz I forgot my cell at home) how Lee was doing. I really (naively?) thought (believed) the girls would sleep for the whole hour I would be away.
It was only an hour
…an hour/ten minutes tops…

9 replies
  1. delaney says:

    The mamas version is pretty good too ; )

    You will get the hang of it eventually. Well, the poo stuff is not gonna get easier anytime soon.

    I would recommend keeping the fridge stocked with everything on earth AB likes if you are looking for an avoidance option!

  2. Keoni says:

    Reminds me of my rookie year. Don’t worry, the poo only gets worse with time! Seriously though, a lot of dads wimp out after the first experience like that. Keep pinning it bro!

  3. PJ DiPentino says:

    Now thats commitment.I have 5 kids from 24 to 7yrs old.I can relate to the hectic days.Eventually they will grow up and the arguing will start. Now thats fun!!!Great job on the solo mission.

  4. Brad says:

    Welcome to fatherhood, doubletime! It’s good to learn on the newborn poo, it doesn’t really stink yet:)

  5. Dan says:

    You’ll get the hang of it. Stay focused and stay organized. The wails of a child were meant to throw you into panic. Friends of mine are managing triplets in a 600sq ft apartment in mid-town. Soon you will be like a finely tuned pit crew barely breaking a sweat slinging bottles and diapers.

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